it was gone... on the 23/6/08

It was that very fateful day which caused me to regret it now. The very day which ended the relationship of mine (2-2-07 ----- 23-6-08). This relationship was never wrong at all, just that the problem lies with me. I was the one who gave it up yet wanting it back.

Never thought that she would get attached so fast too. It was too late for any regrets as i ruined my own relationship.. Feeling so lost and empty, i seemed to have lost something so important to me.. Didn't know that she meant so much to me until the day when i couldn't sleep because i was just too worried for her.. But things were advancing too fast, she got attached too soon before i could even attempt to salvage our relationship.. It pains me to know about that, partly because i knew that i was the one who let her down in the first place.. And now, there she is with another guy.. Having a brand new relationship, a new chapter of her life to begin with.. The chapter which the both of us once had had ended.. The chapter closed and with no chance to edit it again..

Penning down my thoughts into this blog seems to be the most ridiculous thing i will ever do. But this time, i really had no choice.. The pain is too much for me to bear.. As hard as i tried to move on and forget about her, memories of the places we went and the things we did keep flashing back.. Each time it happens, i will feel so lost, helpless and hurt.. I do not want to end this relationship just like that, but her choice was clear.. She had chosen the new guy over me.. Maybe because she was so afraid that i will hurt her again?

I am willing to change for her but was not given a chance to do so. Everything about her has changed. The feelings, thinking, lifestyle and boyfriend.... I can't get use to the new lifestyle of mine without her. In the past, we were chatting on the phone everyday but right now, i cant do that anymore. Only myself to blame for the pain i am having now, for the failed relationship and for the things i did to hurt her in the past, which resulted in her depriving me of a chance to be back together with her again..

2-2-07 shall be the day i will never forget......